The List

I'm lying on the sofa watching a movie and the main character has based some of her most important decisions on a list, she had made for her self some years ago. It so happened that like life would have it, most things occured outside of the precepts of her carefully drafted list. Of course in the movies things always fall exactly into place so - she found true love in an imperfect man and after some corny music and an on que thunder storm, he forgave her ;and she landed the coveted account and was restored to the pinnacle of perfect employee.
The List .... many of us have drafted a list or several lists for our lives. What we want to achieve and when we want to achieve them and, like life would sometimes have it we become busy and so caught up that our list gets lost or goes unnoticed.
I've often wondered how many of us walk around with our lists in the forefront of our minds, revisiting and restructuring it as needed . Versus how many live without a list, allowing the winds of life to direct their paths instead. More importantly why have we created these lists to begin with?

If I were to make a calculated guess , it would be that with all that's currently going on in the world - the extra time so many have found themselves with recently , a number of us have dusted off those lists and are currently reviewing same.
Some may look at the list in appreciation ; where they were then, what was important versus now and what has become important and have been accomplished.
But again if i were to make another calculated guess many of those reviews could be filled with disappointment maybe even anger.
It is possible that some of us have used these "lists" to somehow imprison ourselves, crippling our ability to make choices... healthy choices, because we want them to be so perfect and exact to the lists we've created for ourselves.
But doesn't the list make our dreams , our goals more believable, real even? Keeps us grounded and focused on fulfilling our varied purposes in life ...
Straying away from these rigid lists isnt always such a bad thing as it allows for us to throw caution to the wind and live maybe not on the edge but in a way that allows us to push our boundaries, see what our metal is made of.
All in all I've concluded, that if a list works for you then by all means go ahead , writing your dreams makes them your goals but dont be too rigid . It's also amazingly freeing to just toss the list out the window and allow life to happen, just use wisdom and be smart about it. 

Covid 19

 The concept of staying home and socially distancing from everyone would not have been one that even an introvert in this day and age would fathom to be the new norm.
I was given a couple of hours to pack for six to eight weeks and return to my country of birth, with all hopes and anticipation that during that period things would some how sort themselves out and the world would develop some new way of living.
Unknown to me and the rest of humanity what would unfold in matter of days was incomprehensible and frightening, striking fear into the hearts and minds of many.
Who would have thought that we could be engaged in the war of our life time, combatting an invisible enemy which has the potential to wipe an entire race from the face of the earth using nothing but or social nature.
Six hundred plus dead within twenty four hours one country - Italy, I saw my hopes of an Italian vacation / honeymoon almost in ruins. A country so rich in history and culture brought to its knees by a hug and a kiss. For a minute i thought to myself.... what if italy was to really loose its fight against the lady of the hour ? All that history would almost cease to exist, with so many older people dying who will pass down true italian traditions and culture to it's people? Can this vital role of their existence be left in the hands of the modern day italian man or woman who prefers a microwaveable dinner to slow cooking a meal for eight hours and pairing it the best bottle of wine taken from the cellar , with it's own rich history of coming into existence?
If anything at all the emergence of this virus has allowed us to see a different side of ourselves, some have reconnected with their spiritual side some for the duration of the pandemic others for good - this is too much of a wake up call, others have become human again thinking about someone else's needs for the first time in ages and others have become more greedy and power hungry.
As the world turns and the crazy settles mother nature exhales; because her skylines are clearer, mountain peaks have come out of hiding , the air is cleaner and animals are left alone to roam as they should. I cant tell the future but I see us coming out of this stronger , more tolerant and patient with each other and more focused on the things that are important.. I would sure hope that these are the fruits preserved from this season .

One Chance Only

Have you ever sat and really reflected on your life and the myriad of opportunities you have had? How often have you been told you only have one shot... one shot at the perfect job, one shot at true love ; only one shot .
But how true is this though , doesn't life often present opportunities for second chances?  I have been reflecting on the phrase One Chance Only a lot these last weeks especially with Christmas fast approaching in the last two months the news have been riddled with information about world crises, deaths of very young people and the destruction of nations.

My reflection comes as a result of thinking about the joys of life; it's challenges and victories and the second chances I have been given from the varied platforms of life. We get one chance at life in the physical but we are sometimes so preoccupied with everything that life throws at us that we often forget to live and appreciate this life for what it really is, honouring the fact that we really  wont be able to live any one moment twice so we should really just live.

For years I was able to boast that I had all four grandparents still alive and kicking and then a few years ago my dearsest grandfather- Dad passed away and rocked my world ; four weeks out of work and hours of tears. It took me at least two years to forgive myself for spending so much time at work that i didnt get to say good bye before he passed.  Approximatley three weeks ago one of my grandmothers passed  this  was the biggest shock because i had seen her a month ago before I left the island to return to St Lucia.

I went home for the weekend to pay my respects and I am happy I did but it made me reflect on how fragile this life is and how important it is to use the One Chance we are given wisely. I didnt expect to be hit this hard by  by her death but I was and still am.  On arriving at the church i saw my brother and cousins crying and as i looked at her lying there sleeping without pain I couldnt hold it togther any longer.  From this tragedy has come forth a renewal of realtionships and the beginning of healing.

Reafirmmimg that life is short and percious and we truly only get one chance at life in the physical so im trying to take my own advise  with the new mantra of Just doing it ...; living this life in the moments i have been blessed with.

Selah

Self Worth

I saw this posting on Facebook recently and I was transported back to my childhood where I was always told to be proud of who I was and what I was.. stand for something or prepare to fall for anything.  I could almost hear the voice of Steve Biko in the back of my head speaking in a court room describing what was considered racial colour... the power of words always amazes me.

please enjoy as I have....

The Black Prayer

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord...
Lord .. Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?...
 
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet......
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone
who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?


Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled"
when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my
skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think
it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation
and make everyone the same?

God's Reply:

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

by RuNett Nia-Ebo
this poem was inspired by Genesis1:26-27
written an unknown Artist..
Genesis 1:26 and 27
And GOD said, "Let Us make man in Our image, and after Our likeness. So GOD created man in His own image, male and female He created them.

The Beauty of Fellowship

I went to bed a 12:29pm and was up again at 1:00pm … I just couldn’t sleep, and  as I watched my favourite cooking show I found myself sliding under the blanket to whisper a prayer and thank God for his many blessings that I have received and will receive in the future.

While I lay there reflecting on life I found myself smiling  and then that smile turned into a burst of laughter,  joy bubbled and oozed from every hair follicle on my body. I laughed because of the memories that flooded my bedroom. Street parties , beach runs and encounters with the infamous Great White, movies/games disagreements and resolutions .

The last ten months has taught me so much about myself and how I should treat and choose the relationships I become involved with, sometimes in order to be nice one has to know when to draw the line and let go in order to give the “best of you” to those who truly deserve it, it is also important to live in the moment enjoying the bliss that comes with sharing space and time with others taking with you forever the lessons fellowship teaches.

 

 I met you in a room and I stood in the shadows and watched

Each face told a story ….

I was hesitant because you were different

But each voice sang a song and my ears wanted to listen

 Like roses in a garden we bloomed …

Each petal opening up to the kiss of the sun and gentle caress of rain drops

 

 

 We danced to rhythms not always from our land

Laughed over dinners cooked by our very own hands

Travelled to countries with dinner plates as passports

Discussed topics of importance -stirred controversy  

or sat in silence While the characters spoke

 

Our signature drink became the Great White of the West

It became habitual to seek Wi-Fi at any possible place of rest

And with every week another link was added,

Strengthened through tears and laughter and sometimes anger

 

So…  As we meet in the room, I stand in the shadows and watch

 Each expression so familiar,

I can close my eyes and guess the responses that will be given

Anticipate and perfectly time the bursts of laughter

This time… I’m not hesitant though we are still different

I join in the dance, revelling in your beauty,

 savouring the  sweet nectar from the scared goblet of fellowship

Happy that we’ve had the chance to meet.

Dedicated to Team SLU

Trust & Honesty

 Trust and Honesty are twins that are best when showcased together as one whole, the moment they are separated it changes the dynamics of our space. But can we really handle trust- her being very delicate and fragile ? Are we truly able to face the fists of honesty- him being very strong and often so forceful that diplomacy is thrown out the window?

very often we see trust standing by the bus stop dirty and bruised , dehydrated and in need of care  and kid gloves; and we question the fact the she appears to be homeless and wonder why is it that her value isn't truly seen and appreciated.

like a shot of J Wray and Nephew's over proof white rum Honesty packs a punch, burns your throat after you've swallowed;  you don't feel it a first but give it a few minutes and its all over, its most valued effect is that feeling of wanton freedom. Surprisingly the love for honesty is often face value and he often finds himself alone and lonely seeking acceptance but only find same with the assistance of trust.

I learnt a very valid lesson last  weekend with the assistance of a very dear friend - over proof white rum;  as a people we are clumsy and often treat trust with way less care than she deserves and  abuse her at every chance . Its become such a norm that we don't realize it  and though we love to say honesty is the best policy and be honest at all costs we are never prepared for the sting associated with it.

If we are to be truly liberated by trust and honesty then we have to be prepared to deal with the discomfort of the twins and understand that to be totally consumed by anger is more crippling than helpful.

Can I truthfully ask  Trust and Honesty to be my friends and be truly ok with the responsibility of their friendship and the heft of their weight ? or am I just another hypocrite opening the door to the twin  only to poison their food?

Are you ready to truly be their friend?

The Beauty of a Withering Leaf

Walking home from work recently, a small round leaf that was being carried by the wind blew in my face and just before it fell to the ground I caught it, I had no intention of examining the leaf the way I did but I found that I was drawn to its beauty in a way one would not have expected. 

This tiny leaf had small bumps on it indicating that at some point in time it may have been host to a party insects who might have made it their temporary home, it was half yellow and half brown which meant that death had already taken place and it was experiencing its final stage of withering.

The story this withering leaf told just by looking at it was phenomenal; it had started out as a tiny bud enthusiastic to see the new big wonderful world, enthusiastic about the unknown wanting to see it; and so as it moved from a bud to a tiny leaf it opened itself to the process of photosynthesis basking in the glow of the sun and taking in all the nutrients it could from its mother plant.

  With each day it grew stronger, older and got exposed to several different variables of the life it lived. Each vein going in a different direction; like out stretched palms; fingers eagerly wanting to gently caress the face of definiteness, the fingerprints of life tracing the contours of purpose.

There were nice warm days when the sun was happy and there were days when he was so angry that he forced himself unto her causing bruises and leaving her with sunburn scorches, the rain quenched her thirst, and the wind allowed her to dance and feel free.

 Sometimes all these variables combined together brought her pain in the form of thunder storms and hurricanes twisting and turning her and forcing her to become intimate with the ground.  And at the end of it all when she could take it no more when her time had expired and a new bud pushed its way through tough bark wanting to see the world she had enjoyed with its pain and joys it was her time to go; she had moved from varied shades of green to yellow she was withering away and as she breathed her last breath the wind didn't just allow her to dance and feel free this time it freed her.

I was so blown away by this leaf that I ended up taking it home and placing it among the jewelry on the dressing table, it was to me a treasured piece of jewelry that I didn't want to lose even if it was already dead to the unimaginative dense minds of this world, the processes that had taken place made me reflect on the fact that I was t the leaf enjoying all this big beautiful, ugly world had to offer, its pains , its joys , thunderstorms and hurricanes,  the beauty of a starry sky or the full moon, cool windy days and the summer’s  sunshine. 

 I’m a rarity among women – I actually look forward to birthdays for the main reason that they mean I am a year older (I love age) and hopefully many moons wiser than I was the year before learning from life’s hiccups and understanding that true strength often times means letting go and moving on with true contentment not caring if the rest of the world can comprehend it. 

My being a rarity among my kind has allowed me to look at this leaf with old eyes in that I am able to truly appreciate the process of change ; change not only in the life span of the leaf but change among us .... The fact that no life is given to stagnation, appreciating days of ease and joy and embracing struggles and pain for what they positively represent. 

 And so I salute the beauty of a withering leaf.